Oh what a day that will be

Oh what a day that will be

When the Tories are out and Margaret’s a goner

And Wimbledon F.C. buy Diego Maradona

When they arrest the Queen and drugs are found on her

Oh what a day that will be

When Murdoch’s riches are converted to rags

When you don’t die young from smoking fags

And we all have the chance of afternoon shags

Oh what a day that will be

When the worst you can get is a dose of the clap

The day Palestine appears on a map

When Jeffrey Archer says what I write is crap

When being black is no longer a crime

And the condom slides on (pop) first time

And when Nigel Lawson crawls back to the slime

Oh there’ll be a day to remember

When the Berlin wall has got no bricks

And when men don’t measure the size of their dicks

When Sylvester Stallone weighs 7 stone six

When High Court judges don’t countenance rape

And we’re not so tight-arsed that a fart can’t escape

Then its time for Batman to hang up his cape

Oh what a day that will be

Oh yes

Oh what a day that will be